Conversations with my son — what happens after death?

My son, an inquisitive soul, all of 8 years old, confident, thinks he knows everything, confessed to my husband yesterday that he is terrified about dying because he doesn’t know what will happen to him. When I came home from work, my husband nudged me and said “you should talk to him.” So, I did.

I heard you’re worried about what happens to you when you die.

Yes. What’s going to happen?

Honestly, bud, I don’t know for sure. I haven’t died yet so can’t confirm anything. But I’d like to believe to we get to meet all of our loved ones who have died before us — like my brother and my grandmother. All the people we love, maybe we will see them all again.

But then I might go to hell?

I don’t think it makes sense to think about a forgiving and compassionate God and be so concerned about being punished and going to hell, don’t you think? Why do you think you’re going to hell?

Remember when you told me I shouldn’t watch YouTube and I can only watch YouTube Kids? It turns out I’ve been watching stuff on YouTube for 2 months now but I never told you.

Oh baby. You’re not going to go to hell for lying to me about watching stuff on YouTube.

Are you sure? It was two months!!! Also once I ate bacon bits that was mixed inside a salad dressing at Grandpa’s house and I didn’t tell you until this month.

Buddy, I really don’t think you should be focusing on being punished and going to hell. You shouldn’t behave and be nice and not lie JUST BECAUSE you don’t want to go to hell. You should do it because it’s the right thing to do, and because it’s good to be a good person. We don’t get to choose a lot of things in life, like when you die or how you die or what you die from, but we do get to choose what type of person we are. And that should make you want to choose to be good.

So I’m not going to go to hell?

For lying to me? No, I think you’d have to do much, much worse things to justify that. But still….you shouldn’t lie to me, though…

I know. I’m sorry.

—

Then he complained about a variety of age restrictions I put on his tablet & Roblox AND how boring YouTube Kids is, so we the parents decided that we would choose 3 YouTube channels that are appropriate for him, in collaboration with him, and then he could watch those: but only if he promised not to watch anything else on YouTube. His tablet is a privilege, I warned, and one I am ready and happy to take away. And that was that.

What an existential conversation.